1° Threesome – Escort Near to you –
Direct experiences of an Escort on First Threesome
Rule #1: Lower your expectations.
I know this sounds counterintuitive. Why should you lower your expectations for a threesome if you’re lucky enough to be on track to have one?
Simple. Because threesome sex is more complicated than you might think.
According to Noam Shpancer, Ph.D., on Psychology Today:
“Those who have not had a threesome may imagine it as a straightforward matter of multiplication: the connection and sensation of sex between two people, multiplied by 150%… But this glosses over the vast potential for complexity.”
Complexity is the operative word here.
As Katherine Frank, a cultural anthropologist and author of Plays Well in Groups: A Journey Through the World of Group Sex, told The Guardian:
“You can’t control what happens with two people. What makes you think you could with three?”
That lack of control is a problem. If you can’t control what your partners do during a threesome, what you can control is how you react.
Wouldn’t you prefer to be pleasantly surprised than shamefully letdown?
Not convinced? Read on to see how my too-high expectations got in the way of my first threesome experience.
My too-high expectations for my first threesome.
I’d been working as an escort for just a few months when my client Max suggested we have a threesome with one of his “friends.” I jumped at the chance. Have a hot threesome and make money? Sign me up!
I’d never had a trio before. Max said he met Julia when she hired him for legal work. He was a lawyer, after all.
He sent me photos. An exotic brunette, Julia had the face of a woman in a Raphael painting. Not only was she beautiful, but she was also smart.
Julia was away most of the year at medical school at one of those universities in the Caribbean. Now it was summer, so she was home.
I built up Julia in my mind. I masturbated as I counted down the days until I’d experience her in the flesh.
I thereby committed my first error: my expectations were too high.
I imagined easing her back on my bed where I’d tongue-kiss her deeply. I wanted to stroke her nipples with my hands and rub my fingers around in circles on her clit.
I wanted to plow my fingers inside her vagina — and not only that — I wanted to feel her do the same to me.
I imagined us going down on each other. I fantasized about her lips on my pussy and my face buried between her legs.
I envisioned her moaning in ecstasy as I brought her to orgasm with my mouth. Then I saw myself coming several times on her tongue.
And I thereby committed my first error: my expectations were too high.
A bad first impression.
This was a problem because I’d soon meet Julia and learn she didn’t live up to these expectations at all. But still, on the morning of our appointment, I continued to spend hours getting ready for an experience that was still all in my head.
I bathed, moisturized, and perfumed my body. I also shaved everywhere — my armpits, my legs, and my bush.
I didn’t just shave for Max. I shaved for Julia.
I wanted to impress her. Excitement washed over me when I heard a knock on my front door. There she was, just as beautiful as in her photos.
Her long, chestnut hair fell over her shoulders. Her skin was olive and smooth. Her giant eyes were dark-brown pools. Her lips were plushy full.
And she’d arrived early. I looked forward to getting to know her before our romp. My smile widened. To my utter astonishment, she frowned at me.
“Can you let me in already?” she growled. I flinched at her tone. She brushed past me, barreling inside without an invitation — as if she owned my place.
Julia made an awful first impression. I realized I didn’t like her at all.
She said she still had to put on her makeup. I didn’t think she needed any. Her natural beauty was apparent. She was adamant about painting her face though.
I leaned against the bathroom doorway as she daubed on one thick layer of makeup over another. By the time she was finished, she looked ghoulish.
Ever the good hostess, I asked if I could get her something to drink.
“Brought my own,” she said and fished a paper bag out of her purse. I heard the telltale crack of a can opening.
Beer.
I never drink during my sessions. It’s not professional. That didn’t stop Julia from guzzling the beer. When she was finished curling her hair, her red lipstick stained the opening of the can.
Julia had made an awful first impression. I realized I didn’t like her at all.
Rule #2: Get to know each participant before the threesome.
I realized then I’d wasted time fantasizing about a person before I’d even met them. That was a mistake.
I should have at least had a phone call with Julia before meeting her. Arranging a Skype call would have been even better.
Instead, I was too trusting.
This is why I now have a second rule: get to know each participant before the threesome becomes a reality.
I realize this seems to go without saying — and yet it’s not always easy to do.
Not getting to know someone well before having sex with them is a problem.
What if you happen to be out on the town with your partner when you meet the most fabulous third person who’s raring to have a trio with the both of you?
Exciting, huh?
No. You must spend time getting to know this third person first.
Why? Because the same thing that happened with Julia and me can happen to you.
You’re attracted to someone but then you get into bed and realize you don’t like their personality at all.
You’re stuck in an uncomfortable situation.
Read on to see why not getting to know someone well before having sex with them is also a problem.
You can’t trust everyone to be honest.
As I’d now been alerted to the fact that I didn’t know Julia at all, I asked her how she’d met Max. I wanted to hear her honest answer.
I couldn’t believe my ears when she told me she’d met him on the same escort website I was on.
Max had lied to me! If he’d lied about this, what else had he lied about?
I now understood that I couldn’t trust either of them. Now that I knew Julia was an escort, that also meant she was sleeping with a lot of different people.
I had to use extra protection with her.
I’d always planned on using a condom with Max. Now I realized I needed to use a dental dam with Julia as well.
Rule #3: Protect yourself.
This is how I came up with my third rule: use dental dams with every woman I have sex with.
It doesn’t make a difference if she’s not a professional. Unless we’re in a monogamous relationship, we use protection.
You should, too.
Men should use a new condom every time they switch sexual acts.
If a man penetrates one woman and then wants to penetrate the second woman, he needs to change condoms.
If he goes from being inside one woman’s mouth to being inside the other woman’s mouth, he also needs to use new protection.
You can never be too safe when it comes to threesome sex. This is because I learned the hard way that you can’t expect everyone to be completely honest.
Do I need to hammer down any harder the importance of getting to know each other before the threesome commences?
People have threesomes for different reasons.
When Max showed up, I had to manage my emotions professionally. Yes, he’d lied to me, but when he gave me my envelope with five-hundred dollars inside, I decided to make the best of our time together.
I still believed I could salvage this meeting and enjoy the sex with Julia. She gave a couple of buzzed burps as the three of us made our way to my bed. Max said he wanted to start by watching us sixty-nine. My spirits picked up.
I put the dental dam between Julia’s thighs and nuzzled my face into her vagina. I was shocked when I sensed her body flinch.
I persevered, touching my tongue to the rubber barrier over her clitoris. She literally moved her body into a position so my mouth could no longer reach her.
She was just in it for the money. I was having this threesome because I actually wanted pleasure.
I thought I’d gotten consent to do this. I dove for her vage again. Again she moved just enough so my mouth couldn’t reach her.
Then I caught on — she didn’t want me to actually lick her. She just wanted it to look like I was.
She wanted me to fake the cunnilingus. Though she also had her face between my legs, she wasn’t really licking me either.
Her mouth hovered just over my vagina without actually touching it. I realized that she wasn’t into me at all.
She was just in it for the money. I was having this threesome because I actually wanted pleasure.
Rule #4: Make sure everyone’s having the threesome for the same reason.
This is how I learned that people have very different reasons for having threesomes.
Ryan Scoats, of Coventry University, author of the study Understanding Threesomes, assents. Scoats told The Guardian that when people have threesomes:
“It can be about power, it can be about fun and excitement, it can be about alcohol. It can be that it was just there, and ‘Why not?’”
That’s fine. But between the three people you’re getting down with, everyone’s reasons should match.
This is especially true because some people have threesomes for the wrong reasons.
I always ask everyone involved why they want to have the threesome. If the reason doesn’t match mine, I don’t go through with the experience.
According to Scoats, some people have threesomes for what he calls “sexual altruism.”
In other words, one partner goes through with the experience just to make their partner happy — and that’s no good.
You should only ever have a threesome because you want to.
In my case with Julia, had I known the only reason she was having the threesome was for the money I never would have gone through with it.
Of course, I would have known this had I interviewed her before meeting her.
I didn’t and so I suffered the consequences.
This is why during every pre-threesome interview, I always ask everyone involved why they want to have the threesome. If the reason doesn’t match mine, I don’t go through with the experience.
You might be disappointed with the outcome of a threesome.
As much as I tried to enjoy the experience with Julia and Max, I had trouble doing so. Julia was faking it so intensely. It took the fun away.
She and I kissed, but the magic was gone. The magic had never been there. It had only ever existed in my mind.
I tried to squeeze what I could out of the experience. I released my own volley of porn-worthy moans while Max rode me and Julia and I French-kissed.
Finally, Max pulled out of me, ripped off the condom, and came on my face. While he did this, Julia lay back on the bed, pretending to masturbate.
Max didn’t know it was all performance.
I’d wanted the performance to be real. The problem was, Julia didn’t.
Rule #5: Take care of yourself emotionally post-threesome.
This made me feel genuinely let down. I felt duped and used — and worse, sexually unfulfilled.
Therefore, I had to take extra care of myself emotionally after the sex with Max and Julia. I was able to quell my disappointment, but it took work.
If my first threesome as an escort was this emotional, imagine what it’s like for a couple who’s intimately involved.
Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, told Medical Daily:
“I have seen some serious fall-out from threesomes gone badly. It can be hard to predict the intensity of jealousy and hurt when it comes to sexual experience and bringing another person in.”
You wouldn’t want to ruin a relationship because you confront your partner in a way that’s too heavy-handed.
So employ good self-care after every threesome. I’ve often had to reassure myself that the drama between other partners has nothing to do with me.
I’ve also needed to soothe other people when they’ve become upset about something that happened. But most importantly, I’ve made sure to properly soothe myself.
Sometimes the issue is my male partner spent too much time pleasuring the other woman. I’ve had to be honest about how this made me feel.
I speak up about feeling left out. However, when I do so, I’m gentle. I advise you use a light touch as well.
You wouldn’t want to ruin a relationship because you confront your partner in a way that’s too heavy-handed.
I learned valuable lessons from my first threesome.
I wasn’t in love with Max, but he had been my client for a while. I was angry with him for lying to me. After Julia left, I confronted him.
Max apologized and said it would never happen again.
No, it wouldn’t — because I’d now take the steps to protect myself.
I came up with these five rules that I still follow to this day.
I’m not saying that every threesome I’ve had since has been perfect. But no experience has been quite as challenging as my first threesome with Julia and Max.
I recommend you apply my rules to your own first threesome experience. Take it from someone who’s already made the mistakes.
